playing dangerous games. Yet the relationship with the son is good for him. It’s healthy. I don’t think I could manage without it either. Everyone else in my inner circle is either gone, shut down, or negotiating razor wire. New friendships take time to build. I don’t have this intense schedule that brings people together. 

I don’t have the emotional support to play this game. I’m worried about psychosis. I’m letting people down.

I can’t allow my feelings, my loneliness, my hurt to be delegitimised. Yet I am. I make allowance after allowance for her. 

It has to stop for his sake if no-one else but I don’t know that she knows a better way to protect herself.