Guest Post by The Juggler

Your forthright reporter has learned, through several of the most reliable Yahoo groups, a shocking truth that may rock civilisation to its very corps.

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Photo by Abhijit Tembhekar from Mumbai, India.

It seems believers in the theory that Paul McCartney died in 1966 and was replaced by a talented body double are the unwitting victims of Project Ion – extensive experiments by the CIA in the use of a controversial technique referred to in the redactions of classified documents – obtained at great personal cost by a resourceful gentleman – as “Brain Scooping”.

Estimates of the number of victims range from one thousand to over a million males. It is hard to say with any certainty, since the procedure is not detectable by current imaging techniques. This is because the CIA totally used dark energy to carry out Brain Scooping. Dark energy only interacts with “yellow” matter, the stuff we are made of, gravitationally; light passes straight through it.

Yellow matter is not actually yellow, just as “charmed quarks” are not particles who have been seduced by the wit of the fake McCartney (Faul O’ Hill).

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Although a victim of Brain Scooping, or BS, will weigh up to three pounds more than a visual estimate would suggest, the difference is within margarines of error.

LIPA undergraduate student in Expressive Chemistry, Hans Geetchings, devised an experiment in 1978 to subject 37 suspected victims of BS to  centrifugal testing but the proposal was rejected by the Ethics Committee. It has been suggested that pressure was placed upon the committee by the CIA but no double blind studies have been carried out to test this theory. Also, the Walrus was Geoff.

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