An Erratic Orbit

A bipolar perspective on the 3rd planet


April 2016

How I see angry people in pain

Untitled charcoal on canvas, Kwangho Shin (2013)

Sharp words, spikes, hot bolts, little stingers. Self scribbled over, parts erased by the pain they radiate.

Victim 30, Maggi Hambling (2014)

It is very difficult for me to be around these people. Perhaps I am melodramatic, but I have some sensory issues. Listening to shouting is a very physical experience for me. Maybe this is how some people see me, also.


claralieu, Falling Sketch (2013)

These works of art are meaningful to me. Possibly to you too.


Archimedes & The Hypercritical Parent

If the road had been less bumpy
– I would have been a journalist.

He is younger than me. Homeless, moving from couch to couch, enthusiastic, optimistic. He says
– You are a journalist. Your experiences tell a story of these times.


A handful of small haloes from dirty stumps of wax. The horses out in the darkness, quiet, too tired to protest. Weathered face in three quarter shadow.
– A smoother road and I would have little to tell.
He beckons his fellow trav-

-The present asserts itself instantaneously. Perhaps it spouted backwards from the drain hole but you wouldn’t catch it.

I have Eureka Syndrome. Being right is more important than appropriate attire.

7.30am. She is tidying the kitchen. Her mum is coming back early this morning. I am getting ready to leave. I will not be in the house when her mother is there.

– I have to do the food for the party tonight.

Her sister’s party, but the guests won’t be fed
– unless I take control.

I have no idea whether she then describes herself as a control freak or whether the words pop up in my head.

Out in the living room, getting the last of my things together, the blood rushes to my head. Revelations are not always joyful. Pressure has to be released.

– Oh man!
– What is it?

I didn’t name them ejaculations. Whatever, I emit them frequently, even sometimes on the bus, alone.

– People have different ways of reacting to their childhood. For example, I had a hypercritical parent and I don’t respond well to being told what to do.

It’s not the right time but I think fuck it, I’m leaving and the dust will settle. Eureka Syndrome.

She wants to focus on explaining why she has to take control, how someone has to step up if others won’t do what they should. I’m not especially bothered about whether she makes food for her sister’s party or not. I’m not telling her what is right or wrong.

– I’m not saying anything about morality. I’m thinking about history. Perhaps think about the reality, and about history, rather than what should be.

Obviously I’m being insensitive. I’m talking as if she could switch off from her immediate concerns, but her mother is coming back any minute and will look  for everything that is wrong. She doesn’t have the luxury of leaving. Eureka Syndrome. She has to do the food for the party. This is not a time for reflection, for her.  I’m being a dick.

But I am right. People respond differently to hypercritical parents. Some of us don’t respond well to being told what to do. We can at times be annoyingly unconcerned about what people ask of us. For others it’s all about control. Although, there are perhaps in both of us individualised combinations of extremes of this behaviour.

Naturally her anger rises. She is telling me that she has to step up to the plate when others won’t. She starts talking about adults being children.

Beyond the drain hole it is completely dark. Last night in bed, no bulbs in the ceiling light or lamp. I take bulbs round there when I remember. If I don’t, there will be bulbs missing for weeks at a time. I’m not angry but I could let it go for now rather than make my point. I’m being a dick. As I leave I say

– Remember to get some light bulbs.
– Child!
– That doesn’t make any sense. I’m reminding you to get light bulbs.
– Child!

The swells of revelation will not suddenly abate. The urge to blurt, to say it NOW is not some mystical selection between alternatives written in esoteric dimensions beyond clouds and earth. Insight alone will not halt the physicality of these tides. Nor will mere entreaties. I can try to own my behaviour and use simple tools to minimize my blurting, but the effectiveness of determined resolutions on those with bipolar has limits.

Realistic best case scenario, the long road ahead isn’t going to get a whole lot smoother.

On the bus home I pick up a sordid newspaper left on the seat.


That’s wrong on so many levels.

The Glory & The Powers That Be

The gloriously eccentric, eccentrically British, Olympic opening ceremony of 2012 allowed us a one off opportunity to celebrate the best of our country on a scale we would never normally entertain.

We know that British history is not a fairy tale. We are not fooled by faceless displays of military might. You can’t roll out tanks and expect the British to think that’s the best parade ever.


Some guy in a glass box turning his nose up at breakfast, lunch, and dinner? But he doesn’t do anything else? No jokes? No songs? At least a tap dance and a smile! Have an egg, mate. And another. Get a load of that.

For all the majesty of the 2012 ceremony, we had to have a gentle poke at our institutions too, or at least get them to tell a few jokes and jump out of a plane or something.

If you wanted to know why four to twelve thousand thousand people will be meeting up outside Downing Street and in Trafalgar Square this afternoon, think of that ceremony without an NHS we provide for ourselves.

[Update: 150,000 people attended the protests! This was scantily reported by the BBC]

Think of it without pianos in the houses of the less well off. That isn’t hard to do. Think of it without houses for the poor at all. Think of it with less guitars. Imagine ordinary people can’t afford things like that. Yeah, think of Britain without Paul McCartney, without The Beatles, and without the uniqueness of modern British music.

Not so great, is it?

Today, we stand up especially for two core British values. Fairness, and supporting the underdog. This government has imposed the harshest measures upon the most vulnerable. The ‘bedroom tax’, an attempt and further plans to cut disabilty benefits by £30 a week, and unfair assessments which have seen in a three year period 2380 people die within two weeks of being declared fit for work. The Government has not collected the figures on how many of those people died from lack of electricity, food, medicines. Nor has it recorded how many were so desperate, not getting the help they needed, they took their own lives.

In 2012, instead of the Olympic opening ceremony, think of a cold flat and a suicidal disabled person, perhaps with a serious mental health condition.

The United Nations Declaration of Human Rights (1948) was motivated by the desire to protect people from the awful things the Nazis had just done. The British Government are under investigation by the UN for their treatment of disabled people.

There are unnecessary cuts that affect all of us. An intention to bring the private sector into every school despite evidence and expert opinion that this is not at all the correct thing to do. There is a secretive trade deal being negotiated that is intended to open up Britain further for American feeding in several ways, such as giving their companies the right to tender for NHS services and even the right to sue British Governments.

Meanwhile, the rich are allowed to bypass UK law altogether.

It’s all clearly unfair and if we don’t do something about these injustices, it will only get worse. I will be joining today’s protests. I feel it is the patriotic thing to do.

The People’s Assembly against Austerity meets at 1pm Euston Road/Gower Street.

Lead photo: Matt Lancashire

“Paul Is Dead” Conspiracists Experimented On By C.I.A

Guest Post by The Juggler

Your forthright reporter has learned, through several of the most reliable Yahoo groups, a shocking truth that may rock civilisation to its very corps.

Photo by Abhijit Tembhekar from Mumbai, India.

It seems believers in the theory that Paul McCartney died in 1966 and was replaced by a talented body double are the unwitting victims of Project Ion – extensive experiments by the CIA in the use of a controversial technique referred to in the redactions of classified documents – obtained at great personal cost by a resourceful gentleman – as “Brain Scooping”.

Estimates of the number of victims range from one thousand to over a million males. It is hard to say with any certainty, since the procedure is not detectable by current imaging techniques. This is because the CIA totally used dark energy to carry out Brain Scooping. Dark energy only interacts with “yellow” matter, the stuff we are made of, gravitationally; light passes straight through it.

Yellow matter is not actually yellow, just as “charmed quarks” are not particles who have been seduced by the wit of the fake McCartney (Faul O’ Hill).


Although a victim of Brain Scooping, or BS, will weigh up to three pounds more than a visual estimate would suggest, the difference is within margarines of error.

LIPA undergraduate student in Expressive Chemistry, Hans Geetchings, devised an experiment in 1978 to subject 37 suspected victims of BS to  centrifugal testing but the proposal was rejected by the Ethics Committee. It has been suggested that pressure was placed upon the committee by the CIA but no double blind studies have been carried out to test this theory. Also, the Walrus was Geoff.


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